I wish things would quit ruining the word "twilight." It's such a beautiful word.
Over the last couple of years I've started noticing something that, at first, only seemed like a coincidence. I'm not sure what it is now. Maybe it's still just a coincidence. Maybe it's something more. Maybe it's nothing. I often go walking around or driving in the dark. There's never really a set time or location. I just go... whenever I feel like it. It's been like that all the places that I've lived, ever since high school. And every time that I've gone walking in the dark, all the times I can remember, streetlights have turned off above me. Not around me. Not like I see them flicker in the distance.... No... when I'm directly below them, they just... turn off. And it's not all of them. It's usually just one, maybe two. I think it happens when I'm in my car, too. I know that it does sometimes, and others... it's just a sense that I get. I can just tell.
Like I said, maybe it's all in my head. Maybe that happens to people all the time, just like me. But there's always something so surreal about it, something so eerie, yet wonderful.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
One Word: Cereal
It's all cereal all the time over here. Except when I'm out of milk.
It's all Chile all the time over here.
I can't remember the last time I was in control. Right now, looking back on my life so far, I'm not certain if I've ever once been in control. And it's wonderful.
It's all Chile all the time over here.
I can't remember the last time I was in control. Right now, looking back on my life so far, I'm not certain if I've ever once been in control. And it's wonderful.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I get paid to disturb the peace
I want you to sit on a dusty sidewalk with me, against a brick building and not worry about what else could be on that sidewalk. I want you to make fun of the suits and the boots that walk in and out of Starbucks but always know when it's time to put away the snide remarks and get me a grande caramel macchiato. I want you to act like you hate dusting the snow off my car, because you probably do. I want to feel your five o'clock shadow in an actual shadow at five o'clock. I want the shoes you wear to tell me where you've been. I want you to not need words but to use them anyway. I want you to teach me how to do something new... anything new. I want you to want to save the world.
I don't care what God you believe in as long as your faith is the kind that makes booties that don't stop look lazy. I don't care where you come from as long as you have found beauty in every place since then and, therefore, that place, too. I don't care who's on your friends list as long as I can be, too. I don't care how much you sleep as long as you know how to rest. I don't care what you eat as long as I can try to make it best.
I haven't been in the dark for too long. I miss it. I need it. I want you to learn to appreciate the dark with me. To appreciate the silence. To appreciate the stillness. That moment when 2:03 a.m. is softly becoming 2:04, and you're certain that most things have forgotten they're even still alive... that's where your learning begins.
I don't care what God you believe in as long as your faith is the kind that makes booties that don't stop look lazy. I don't care where you come from as long as you have found beauty in every place since then and, therefore, that place, too. I don't care who's on your friends list as long as I can be, too. I don't care how much you sleep as long as you know how to rest. I don't care what you eat as long as I can try to make it best.
I haven't been in the dark for too long. I miss it. I need it. I want you to learn to appreciate the dark with me. To appreciate the silence. To appreciate the stillness. That moment when 2:03 a.m. is softly becoming 2:04, and you're certain that most things have forgotten they're even still alive... that's where your learning begins.
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Lord, beer me strength
Hey 2011, you've been pretty good to me so far. Let's keep that up.
Last year was supposed to be my year. In fact, I emphatically told my sisters that they couldn't do anything special because it was my year. It was a good year, but I'm not sure it was mine. I'm not quite sure I even get a year, or maybe every year is my year. It doesn't really matter, I guess.
As I was driving back home, or at least back to the place where I keep all of my things, I couldn't help but feel the limbo I live in. I'm so much more uncertain than I used to be about what comes next. For now, at least for the next few months, I'm okay not knowing. There's a certain charm and comfort in not knowing.
But I do know some things... like my new years resolution. I don't really like to do measurable things. Instead I kind of choose self-betterment things. In the past it was to love more, or to be more patient, or to get what I need. This year I'm going to try harder. I don't try hard enough. I mean... I do a good job at the things I do... but I could do much better. I could try much harder. And I'm going to.
Finally, just as a reminder to myself, I have the most bang-up set of friends that has probably ever existed. I've been blessed in ways that no one deserves, received only through the grace of God.
See ya, 2010, it's been real.
Last year was supposed to be my year. In fact, I emphatically told my sisters that they couldn't do anything special because it was my year. It was a good year, but I'm not sure it was mine. I'm not quite sure I even get a year, or maybe every year is my year. It doesn't really matter, I guess.
As I was driving back home, or at least back to the place where I keep all of my things, I couldn't help but feel the limbo I live in. I'm so much more uncertain than I used to be about what comes next. For now, at least for the next few months, I'm okay not knowing. There's a certain charm and comfort in not knowing.
But I do know some things... like my new years resolution. I don't really like to do measurable things. Instead I kind of choose self-betterment things. In the past it was to love more, or to be more patient, or to get what I need. This year I'm going to try harder. I don't try hard enough. I mean... I do a good job at the things I do... but I could do much better. I could try much harder. And I'm going to.
Finally, just as a reminder to myself, I have the most bang-up set of friends that has probably ever existed. I've been blessed in ways that no one deserves, received only through the grace of God.
See ya, 2010, it's been real.