My parents wrote me these letters when I was a fifth grader... they are adorable. Enjoy.
Dear Sarah Christine Davis,
You were born on a Wednesday, March 10, 1987. We thought our third child would probably be a boy, but when you were born you were the cutest little thing. We were so happy to bring you home to your sisters. You were a good baby and grew into a happy pre-schooler. Now you are 11 years old and it is hard believe that my youngest child is growing up. I remember telling you at age 5 to stop growing and stay just this way. As you grow into a young woman, I hope your dreams for yourself are high and that all come true.
Love,
Mom
(My dad's didn't have a title... sorry)
My youngest daughter Sarah is very special. She gets along great with her sisters, Allison and Mandy, ha ha. The list of tings she likes and like to do could fill pages but I'll try to tell a few of them. About fifty-two times a year I hear about how nice it would be to have a horse. She play the clarinet, piano and takes guitar lessons. Reading gets close to equal time with the T.V. Video games are popular as are basketball, soccer, softball, swim team and whatever else is going on at the time. Stuffed animals are her most prized possessions. Each one has a name. even if the creature comes with one, it soon is renamed anyway. I'm talking 40 or 50 stuffed bears, monkeys, cats, rabbits, dogs and of course her favorite Nala, a dirty old stuffed seal whose eye keeps falling off. Don't forget another 40 or 50 Beanie Babies. Even with all these interests the things that never fails to amaze me is that she always has time for her dad. I wish we did more things together. If I'm going fishing, golfing, or even mushroom hunting, she's always ready to go. For all these things and many more, I love her very much.
Love,
Dad
(Ver batem people... for rul.) (Did I spell that right?... probably not.) :-)
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
My Spoon is Too Big
I'm a banana.
Recently, a co-worker told me I didn't look like a person who would like kids. Over Christmas break, my mom laughed when I told her I wanted five kids. Few things have hurt more than that. But I laughed them off, because that what I'm expected to do. I honestly think people have no idea about me, about who I am. And I hate it. I would sit down and tell anyone my entire life story if they wanted to hear it. What bothers me most is the fact that I have given almost a stranger that impression... but the woman who aught to know me best thinks the same thing. What? There is nothing I want more in life than to get married and have kids. That's my vocation. That's what I'm supposed to do, and I'm so excited. So how do I become that person... or do I need to become that person, at least in others' eyes. I don't think so.
FYI: I love kids. I actually want seven. : ) Imagine what Lynne would have said to that.
Recently, a co-worker told me I didn't look like a person who would like kids. Over Christmas break, my mom laughed when I told her I wanted five kids. Few things have hurt more than that. But I laughed them off, because that what I'm expected to do. I honestly think people have no idea about me, about who I am. And I hate it. I would sit down and tell anyone my entire life story if they wanted to hear it. What bothers me most is the fact that I have given almost a stranger that impression... but the woman who aught to know me best thinks the same thing. What? There is nothing I want more in life than to get married and have kids. That's my vocation. That's what I'm supposed to do, and I'm so excited. So how do I become that person... or do I need to become that person, at least in others' eyes. I don't think so.
FYI: I love kids. I actually want seven. : ) Imagine what Lynne would have said to that.
How's It Gonna Be?
We're just dancing, we're just hugging, singing, screaming, kissing, tugging on the on the sleeve of how it used to be.
I have and continue to maintain an academic death wish. I currently have over 200 pages of reading to do for my classes tomorrow... It is 1 A.M. Why am I writing here and not doing homework? I spent the last five hours trying to read 100 pages... I can't find the right state of mind, and to think, I once saw myself as a fast reader. Ridiculous. Back to the academic grind.... mmmmh... coffee sounds good... so many hours till morning. Bleh.
And my fourth quarter pipe dreams are seeming more and more like fighting for.
I have and continue to maintain an academic death wish. I currently have over 200 pages of reading to do for my classes tomorrow... It is 1 A.M. Why am I writing here and not doing homework? I spent the last five hours trying to read 100 pages... I can't find the right state of mind, and to think, I once saw myself as a fast reader. Ridiculous. Back to the academic grind.... mmmmh... coffee sounds good... so many hours till morning. Bleh.
And my fourth quarter pipe dreams are seeming more and more like fighting for.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
A Little Insight...
The following are things I have written to people over the past 4 years. Try as you might to guess who or what they are about, you will probably be wrong. Sorry... but you will. I found them in old notebooks and books and journals. You are about to read poems, excerpts from letters or senseless rambling from me... here you go.
I'll tell you a little about his first one, cause it's pretty straight forward. It is the first thing I have written in my journal.... : )
_______________________________________
Everything about you is horrible, magical,
mystical, like dewy grass in April. The
way my sheets never fit the mattress.
A disgraceful lack of color in my life.
You are the damp towel that lies
crumpled on my floor for weeks.
I'll keep using you whether you
smell good or not. My standards tend
to be lower than they are.
I can't stop because everything is
better than sleeping till noon. But I
stopped a long time ago because I
couldn't find anything. Sometimes
I settle and wear two different socks.
My violence correlates directly to how much
I care. Love and hate may be fraternal
twins, but that mole can be hard to
spot, especially behind long hair and
long sleeves and a short attention span.
I live with seven strangers, and we all
share the same bed, and the little
one said "shut up and turn out the
light." When I visit you at 5 in the
morning, my socks are always wet.
_______________________________________
So corny... but true
... I like the way you smile, like
nothing else matters, I like the way
your pants don't fit, I like the way
you can make me feel vulnerable
and safe at the same time. I like
the way I can not quite read what
you're thinking through your eyes, I
like that it feel s like you can see right
through me, I like that you're indecisive,
I like that you wouldn't hurt a fly, I
like that you're tall, I like that
nothing else seems to matter when I'm
around you, I like the fact that the
smile never leaves my face when I'm
with you... but mostly, I just like you...
I hate it that I can't tell you the one thing I really want to,
I hate that I have to resist grabbing your hand, I hate that
you're indecisive, I hate it that it feels like you can see right
through me, I hate knowing that you may never know the
way I truly feel, but I don't hate you...
I wish I could get over you, I wish you didn't make me smile,
I wish I could tell you what I thought, I wish we could look at
the starts together, I wish you would hold my hand, I wish I could
hug you, I wish I thought some of these tings would actually happen.
... and i don't expect you to feel the same way and I don't expect
you to care... that's why they call them wishes, come on... I don't
even have a well.
This is ridiculous... I'm done.
_______________________________________
God uses the foolish things about this world to confound the wise.
_______________________________________
There's a Light at the End of the Tunnel
Child, you will suffer because you are loved.
There really are monsters that sleep
beneath you. And they want to eat
your toes then your soul. You might
cry for years.
But one day, you'll get a new bed in a
new home with a new reason to live.
Because the pain you felt was God's
pain, and God's pain is love, and God's
love is perfect.
_______________________________________
Can I pour my soul into you... can I make you part of my nothingness... can I channel His love into you, because you are so worthy, and you deserve so much love. Where you stand today, I love you... He loves you. My love is His love. Today, I take you as you are. I will never love you more, and I will never love you less. (omitted) I love you because love is the only sure thing I have to give. If you hated me, I would love you. If you forgot me, I would love you. If you pitied me, I would love you. Because my love is pure. My love is the Father's love, and it is unwavering. You don't have to meet me half way. You don't have to love me back. Please just be honest, just be true. In truth lies freedom! (omitted)
_______________________________________
The world offers you comfort. But you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.
_______________________________________
Okay, that's all I'm going to put right now. If you find yourself thinking... "That was a bit of an over share." Yeah, you're right... but deal with it. You're the one who read it. And if you actually did read it... thanks... I wouldn't put it on here if I didn't want it to be read.
I'll tell you a little about his first one, cause it's pretty straight forward. It is the first thing I have written in my journal.... : )
_______________________________________
Everything about you is horrible, magical,
mystical, like dewy grass in April. The
way my sheets never fit the mattress.
A disgraceful lack of color in my life.
You are the damp towel that lies
crumpled on my floor for weeks.
I'll keep using you whether you
smell good or not. My standards tend
to be lower than they are.
I can't stop because everything is
better than sleeping till noon. But I
stopped a long time ago because I
couldn't find anything. Sometimes
I settle and wear two different socks.
My violence correlates directly to how much
I care. Love and hate may be fraternal
twins, but that mole can be hard to
spot, especially behind long hair and
long sleeves and a short attention span.
I live with seven strangers, and we all
share the same bed, and the little
one said "shut up and turn out the
light." When I visit you at 5 in the
morning, my socks are always wet.
_______________________________________
So corny... but true
... I like the way you smile, like
nothing else matters, I like the way
your pants don't fit, I like the way
you can make me feel vulnerable
and safe at the same time. I like
the way I can not quite read what
you're thinking through your eyes, I
like that it feel s like you can see right
through me, I like that you're indecisive,
I like that you wouldn't hurt a fly, I
like that you're tall, I like that
nothing else seems to matter when I'm
around you, I like the fact that the
smile never leaves my face when I'm
with you... but mostly, I just like you...
I hate it that I can't tell you the one thing I really want to,
I hate that I have to resist grabbing your hand, I hate that
you're indecisive, I hate it that it feels like you can see right
through me, I hate knowing that you may never know the
way I truly feel, but I don't hate you...
I wish I could get over you, I wish you didn't make me smile,
I wish I could tell you what I thought, I wish we could look at
the starts together, I wish you would hold my hand, I wish I could
hug you, I wish I thought some of these tings would actually happen.
... and i don't expect you to feel the same way and I don't expect
you to care... that's why they call them wishes, come on... I don't
even have a well.
This is ridiculous... I'm done.
_______________________________________
God uses the foolish things about this world to confound the wise.
_______________________________________
There's a Light at the End of the Tunnel
Child, you will suffer because you are loved.
There really are monsters that sleep
beneath you. And they want to eat
your toes then your soul. You might
cry for years.
But one day, you'll get a new bed in a
new home with a new reason to live.
Because the pain you felt was God's
pain, and God's pain is love, and God's
love is perfect.
_______________________________________
Can I pour my soul into you... can I make you part of my nothingness... can I channel His love into you, because you are so worthy, and you deserve so much love. Where you stand today, I love you... He loves you. My love is His love. Today, I take you as you are. I will never love you more, and I will never love you less. (omitted) I love you because love is the only sure thing I have to give. If you hated me, I would love you. If you forgot me, I would love you. If you pitied me, I would love you. Because my love is pure. My love is the Father's love, and it is unwavering. You don't have to meet me half way. You don't have to love me back. Please just be honest, just be true. In truth lies freedom! (omitted)
_______________________________________
The world offers you comfort. But you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.
_______________________________________
Okay, that's all I'm going to put right now. If you find yourself thinking... "That was a bit of an over share." Yeah, you're right... but deal with it. You're the one who read it. And if you actually did read it... thanks... I wouldn't put it on here if I didn't want it to be read.
Friday, January 25, 2008
We Won't Stop Until Somebody Calls the Cops
And even then we'll start again and just pretend that nothing ever happened.
: )
Life is a beautiful disaster. School is pretty good. Everything is pretty good.
Unfortunately, that's only in my life. Other things, like my family, are kind of falling apart. When you're young, you never realize the things that could happen to those you love... but then they do. But time keeps rolling. I almost feel disconnected. I have a separate life, support system and state of mind. It's strange to link the two sometimes.
: ) I'm very thankful for everything I have.
: )
Life is a beautiful disaster. School is pretty good. Everything is pretty good.
Unfortunately, that's only in my life. Other things, like my family, are kind of falling apart. When you're young, you never realize the things that could happen to those you love... but then they do. But time keeps rolling. I almost feel disconnected. I have a separate life, support system and state of mind. It's strange to link the two sometimes.
: ) I'm very thankful for everything I have.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Ridiculous...
These are some poems I wrote with classmates in my poetry class last semester... they're supposed to not make sense or be badly written, so enjoy. :)
My heart is like a bomb
tick, tick, ticking
in the heat of a song.
You are my spark
my ignition
found in this song of a lark.
Our love is the ocean
Baby
and we're lost in it
lost between where the water
meets the sky.
Lost between silence
and the gull's cry.
Our love makes the earthquake.
We cause erosion.
Gleam in my eye,
my heart is an explosion.
____________________________________________
You chocolate, in time, spark the soul
of what spirit audio drives the core
it was my prime juvenile horror
how much time in part, does autumn have in a bowl
The various styles of pain and rage
the vanity of a club soda, which I adore
of sea she probes intention and more
separate truth from holiness, not written on the page
My good vision, or something that comes together
the flavor of my rhythm is sacred
it's my mesmerizing mecca, my virginity
This is my vinegar, vinegar forever
it's my present, my conscious, hatred.
The places in the world, hate is serenity.
My heart is like a bomb
tick, tick, ticking
in the heat of a song.
You are my spark
my ignition
found in this song of a lark.
Our love is the ocean
Baby
and we're lost in it
lost between where the water
meets the sky.
Lost between silence
and the gull's cry.
Our love makes the earthquake.
We cause erosion.
Gleam in my eye,
my heart is an explosion.
____________________________________________
You chocolate, in time, spark the soul
of what spirit audio drives the core
it was my prime juvenile horror
how much time in part, does autumn have in a bowl
The various styles of pain and rage
the vanity of a club soda, which I adore
of sea she probes intention and more
separate truth from holiness, not written on the page
My good vision, or something that comes together
the flavor of my rhythm is sacred
it's my mesmerizing mecca, my virginity
This is my vinegar, vinegar forever
it's my present, my conscious, hatred.
The places in the world, hate is serenity.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Va Va Voom
Love isn't never having to say you're sorry. Love is having to say you're sorry all the time. Love isn't give and take. Love is give.
A superb weekend is under way as we speak. Friday I went to Village Inn, as per usual, and enjoyed a scrumptious skillet and entirely too much coffee. I followed that up by attending a concert, which offered incredible time for reflection. Then spent the rest of the evening watching a movie and talking with friends. Then on Saturday I went to a going away party for a friend that I haven't seen lately. Afterward, and this is the highlight, I saw Juno. After spending months building this movie up in my head, I was almost going berserk listening to people talk about it. I was slightly worried I had hyped myself up to much. Turns out, no. It was amazing. Hands down, incredible. I then, once again spent time with friends. I can hardly believe there are still two days left. Yay!!!
I know I usually am a little more contemplative and thoughtful when I blog. But today I think practical is going to have to work. :) Good night and good luck.
A superb weekend is under way as we speak. Friday I went to Village Inn, as per usual, and enjoyed a scrumptious skillet and entirely too much coffee. I followed that up by attending a concert, which offered incredible time for reflection. Then spent the rest of the evening watching a movie and talking with friends. Then on Saturday I went to a going away party for a friend that I haven't seen lately. Afterward, and this is the highlight, I saw Juno. After spending months building this movie up in my head, I was almost going berserk listening to people talk about it. I was slightly worried I had hyped myself up to much. Turns out, no. It was amazing. Hands down, incredible. I then, once again spent time with friends. I can hardly believe there are still two days left. Yay!!!
I know I usually am a little more contemplative and thoughtful when I blog. But today I think practical is going to have to work. :) Good night and good luck.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Electrolyte Beverages Are For Lovers
Welcome back to another delightful and enchanting semester. This year you will learn how to let go. This year you will learn how to understand the economy. This year you will get a job. This year count the moments that make you laugh, and you will lose track. This year is not your year... :) But it's coming.
I have five classes this semester - 17 hours. It should be beautiful. (Can I just say the new Herbal Essences commercial is ridiculous and stupid... how do people get hired to make abominable advertisements?) Unfortunately, it look like my classes are just going to be mediocre... nothing too interesting. But on the bright side, one of my professors talks like he did a lot of drugs when he was younger - score.
Valentine's Day is less than a month a way. It's a stupid made up holiday. :) Well, it is made up... right? I don't really know if it's stupid or not. I will be on duty in Abel Hall... right where I belong. I'm so glad to be back at school. I want to write a book, but I'm not very good at writing stories. I'm better at ideas... or the abstract. That's probably why poetry wins.
Do you think everything eventually just falls into place... and you just get it. You know, "It." What's "it"? Life? Your purpose? Anything? I'm not quite sure. I fell dumb writing anything too serious on here, especially about anyone I know. It just doesn't seem like a very good idea. So it's probably not, right?
:) I'm going to sleep. You should listen some songs by Kate Nash... I like her.
I have five classes this semester - 17 hours. It should be beautiful. (Can I just say the new Herbal Essences commercial is ridiculous and stupid... how do people get hired to make abominable advertisements?) Unfortunately, it look like my classes are just going to be mediocre... nothing too interesting. But on the bright side, one of my professors talks like he did a lot of drugs when he was younger - score.
Valentine's Day is less than a month a way. It's a stupid made up holiday. :) Well, it is made up... right? I don't really know if it's stupid or not. I will be on duty in Abel Hall... right where I belong. I'm so glad to be back at school. I want to write a book, but I'm not very good at writing stories. I'm better at ideas... or the abstract. That's probably why poetry wins.
Do you think everything eventually just falls into place... and you just get it. You know, "It." What's "it"? Life? Your purpose? Anything? I'm not quite sure. I fell dumb writing anything too serious on here, especially about anyone I know. It just doesn't seem like a very good idea. So it's probably not, right?
:) I'm going to sleep. You should listen some songs by Kate Nash... I like her.