A Little Insight...

The following are things I have written to people over the past 4 years. Try as you might to guess who or what they are about, you will probably be wrong. Sorry... but you will. I found them in old notebooks and books and journals. You are about to read poems, excerpts from letters or senseless rambling from me... here you go.

I'll tell you a little about his first one, cause it's pretty straight forward. It is the first thing I have written in my journal.... : )
_______________________________________

Everything about you is horrible, magical,
mystical, like dewy grass in April. The
way my sheets never fit the mattress.
A disgraceful lack of color in my life.

You are the damp towel that lies
crumpled on my floor for weeks.
I'll keep using you whether you
smell good or not. My standards tend
to be lower than they are.

I can't stop because everything is
better than sleeping till noon. But I
stopped a long time ago because I
couldn't find anything. Sometimes
I settle and wear two different socks.

My violence correlates directly to how much
I care. Love and hate may be fraternal
twins, but that mole can be hard to
spot, especially behind long hair and
long sleeves and a short attention span.


I live with seven strangers, and we all
share the same bed, and the little
one said "shut up and turn out the
light." When I visit you at 5 in the
morning, my socks are always wet.
_______________________________________

So corny... but true

... I like the way you smile, like
nothing else matters, I like the way
your pants don't fit, I like the way
you can make me feel vulnerable
and safe at the same time. I like
the way I can not quite read what
you're thinking through your eyes, I
like that it feel s like you can see right
through me, I like that you're indecisive,
I like that you wouldn't hurt a fly, I
like that you're tall, I like that
nothing else seems to matter when I'm
around you, I like the fact that the
smile never leaves my face when I'm
with you... but mostly, I just like you...

I hate it that I can't tell you the one thing I really want to,
I hate that I have to resist grabbing your hand, I hate that
you're indecisive, I hate it that it feels like you can see right
through me, I hate knowing that you may never know the
way I truly feel, but I don't hate you...

I wish I could get over you, I wish you didn't make me smile,
I wish I could tell you what I thought, I wish we could look at
the starts together, I wish you would hold my hand, I wish I could
hug you, I wish I thought some of these tings would actually happen.

... and i don't expect you to feel the same way and I don't expect
you to care... that's why they call them wishes, come on... I don't
even have a well.

This is ridiculous... I'm done.
_______________________________________

God uses the foolish things about this world to confound the wise.
_______________________________________

There's a Light at the End of the Tunnel

Child, you will suffer because you are loved.
There really are monsters that sleep
beneath you. And they want to eat
your toes then your soul. You might
cry for years.

But one day, you'll get a new bed in a
new home with a new reason to live.
Because the pain you felt was God's
pain, and God's pain is love, and God's
love is perfect.
_______________________________________

Can I pour my soul into you... can I make you part of my nothingness... can I channel His love into you, because you are so worthy, and you deserve so much love. Where you stand today, I love you... He loves you. My love is His love. Today, I take you as you are. I will never love you more, and I will never love you less. (omitted) I love you because love is the only sure thing I have to give. If you hated me, I would love you. If you forgot me, I would love you. If you pitied me, I would love you. Because my love is pure. My love is the Father's love, and it is unwavering. You don't have to meet me half way. You don't have to love me back. Please just be honest, just be true. In truth lies freedom! (omitted)
_______________________________________

The world offers you comfort. But you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.
_______________________________________

Okay, that's all I'm going to put right now. If you find yourself thinking... "That was a bit of an over share." Yeah, you're right... but deal with it. You're the one who read it. And if you actually did read it... thanks... I wouldn't put it on here if I didn't want it to be read.