There is no place like Nebraska...

A sheet of cherry blossom petals cover the sidewalks on campus, their subtle scent wafts between brick and mortar buildings. I appreciate the beauty of campus as it changes from season to season. I try to ignore the faint odor of urine that forever lingers on R Street. I try to imagine that the feral, sewer cats are more like pets than potential ring worm carriers. God, I love it here. I love the barefooted people sitting near the fountain on chalk-stained sidewalks. I love the tiny doors in the basement stacks of the library. I love to hear The Carpenters ringing from Mueller Tower, reminding me how late for class I really am. I love riding my bike alone at 12:30 a.m. in circles in front of the union. I love the millions upon millions of memories I've made with the people I've met here. You don't find people like this elsewhere; at least, I'd like to think you don't. I love that this is my home. 

I really do love it here. Just thinking about leaving makes my eyes well up thick with tears. It's been five years, five of my most formative years. Thank God I got to spend them here. I know I've spent the better part of the last five years denouncing being a "Cornhusker" and the football team. And I don't take it back (except for Suh, I'm on board with Suh.) I don't love Nebraska game day. I don't love the scores of people who live and die based on a football game. I don't love how much it overshadows everything else that's good about UNL, about Lincoln, about Nebraska. It makes me want to scream at the drunken masses in their Nebraska red, "Look at everything you're missing. Look at everything you think it worth looking over." And maybe (certainly) I'll be a Nebraska football fan in the future. I enjoy the games. I like football. I love a good challenge, and I've enjoyed the games I've been to. Someday, I'll proudly emblazen the word "Cornhusker" over my chest... once the bitterness has worn off. Because I am proud of my school. I am proud of my education. I really do think there is no place like Nebraska.

Here in my poorly-lit room, with a gentle breeze creeping through my window, I can hardly believe it's all coming to an end. I look at my remaining classwork. If I don't do it, will I somehow slow down this process? Can I desperately grasp for an extension? Just a few moments more, please? More squirrels, hiding things in the ceiling of Piper 3, watching storms outside of Pound, laying in the grass in the green space, parking my car late at night, riding futons down the stairs, bicycle crashes (yes, I'd even take those), opossum catching, roof dancing, dirty dirty, movie nights, Husker Hoagies, bullshit lectures, green bean casserole, anything... please just give me anything that I can keep. Two weeks from now, at this exact time, I will be spending my last night at UNL. I will be worried about checking everyone out of this dorm, wondering if I made the right choice in not walking, crying because all of my walls will be so bare. I hate bare walls. 

I made April promise it wouldn't go this fast. April is always telling lies.