Killing the Angel in the House...

"The family peace was not broken by the scratching of a pen."

- My sheets won't stay on my bed.
- I can make a kazoo out of my window blinds.
- Temporary lion tattoo.
- Jalapeno Jimmy John's kettle chips.

"Never let anybody guess that you have a mind of your own."

- Please don't judge me for watching every episode of The Bachelor this season.
- Starfish and coffee, maple syrup and jam.
- I've seen enough genocide movies for one week.
- I'm getting everything I want for my birthday this year.

"Had I not killed her she would have killed me. She would have plucked the heart out of my writing."

- Tattoo and kazoo rhyme.
- I've watched every episode of The Office too.
- I'm more hopeless than romantic.
- My pimp cup runeth over.

"It is harder to kill a phantom than a reality."

- Virginia Woolf